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Thu, 31 May 2012 13:39:38 -0700

Probably one of the most helpful things I’ve seen.

Wed, 30 May 2012 22:00:30 -0700

Probably one of the most helpful things I’ve seen.

Where's My Social Life?

Tue, 22 May 2012 11:11:39 -0700

People always told me that I would miss college when I started working. I told them that I wouldn’t miss it. They just told me to wait and see.

I still don’t miss college. The only thing I miss is having parallel time with my friends. I don’t attribute having free time to college because I was extremely busy in those 4.5 years.

Now, I have more free time, but the time I have doesn’t match up with a lot of my friends.

I work full-time at a start-up company. We’re about to launch within the next month (I think). Things are picking up here. I’m also finishing up my research at UCI. Part of my research requires that I serve as an intern. I’m also working on the side for a mobile start-up. Additionally, I’m taking an online course through Stanford to get certification.

By the time I finish up with everything at work, research/internship, or my meetings with this start-up, and feeding and playing with my dog, it’s around 9:00 PM. And then I eat/make dinner, clean up, go to bed, and start over. I’ll squeeze in the online lectures when I can - usually on weekends.

Friends ask me why I don’t spend time with them or why I neglect them. It puts me in a tough spot because I always want to spend time with them, but when I ask to spend time, a lot of them have their exams to study for. We’ve made plans in advance, but work and research has always come up those few times. I can’t say no to work or to my research team. It’s tough. Over time, friends just think that you stop caring about them and then you lose touch. It’s all a perspective issue.

I’m wondering if anyone out there has a solution to this problem. I don’t like having this problem. My life would be perfect if I could fix this.

Loving Relationships

Mon, 14 May 2012 16:58:00 -0700

When my ex and I broke up, I spent a long time (about 2 years) replaying moments again and again, wondering what went wrong and whether or not I would find love again. I thought a lot about what I would do differently if I ever had the fortune to feel again.

When first loves don’t work out, it’s hard to imagine loving anyone else ever again. It’s equally difficult to think that someone else will come along and love you with the genuine intention and whole heart you once felt from your first love.

In the two years I spent moping around and analyzing what I once thought was a relationship between two soul mates, I learned a few crucial things. Truth be told, the gradual fall of our relationship occurred because I stopped trying. Eventually, when I started trying again, he stopped. And it ended in 2009.

Two years later, I met this incredible man who has made each day better than the last. Since meeting him, I feel as though my life has turned into a Nicholas Sparks novel.

At first, I approached him with caution. I find that it’s normal to do that when your heart is finally back in one piece. Before our first date, I made him out to be some kind of womanizer - without any evidence. What prompted me to meet up with him on that Wednesday evening was one gesture of kindness. Even then I was skeptical.

We had an amazing first date. It wasn’t because we did something extremely romantic or extremely spontaneous. It was a typical date, but the conversation kept me engaged and interested as we discovered how we both valued our best friends, dogs, and our competitive attitudes. I haven’t stopped thinking about him since December 21, 2011.

For the first two months of our dating experience, I looked for reasons to stop liking him. I wanted to protect myself from any kind of pain. It took me two years to feel like myself again, and I wasn’t about to let someone bring me back to that dark place. Each time I looked for something, he always gave me a reason to believe in him.

Now that our relationship is progressing, I want to make sure I do it right and avoid the mistakes I made before. The thing I tell myself is to keep trying.

What does “trying” mean? Everyone’s efforts and definitions of hard work and intent are different, so “trying” is relative. Instead of illustrating how to “stop trying”, I’m going to explain how one can “keep on trying.” And again, this is just my perspective - it’s a promise with a lot of side notes that I’m making to myself.

1. Make Time For Each Other

And make sure it’s quality time. Making time for someone, doesn’t mean you are studying in the presence of a loved one. It means that you are engaging with each other whether it’s through physical activity or communicating thoughts, feelings, and ideas. It means planning. It means putting careful thought into something. Dates! Fun activities!

2. Make Time For Yourself (and friends!)

Having your own time is just as important as spending time with a significant other. It’s important to have balance between the social life and the romantic life. Otherwise, you begin to feel negativity towards the relationship.

3. Communicate and Understand

It’s important to be up-front with how you feel so that your partner can understand what’s going on. Being up-front is difficult, but it’s very important. In my talks with friends (a lot of these conversations were with my lady friends), I’ve found that many of them have certain expectations for their partners, whether it’s to communicate the “L” word, or to be a little more chivalrous. In the end, a lot of my friends keep it inside, and they just become passive aggressive toward their partners and the relationship. Most of the time, their partners pick up on this negativity, but they can’t pinpoint what’s wrong. So usually, they assume that it’s just a bad day or PMS - it’ll go away eventually, or that’s what they think.

In the end, none of us are mind-readers, so it’s better to communicate your thoughts (positively and calmly) in the relationship. And if your significant other becomes more chivalrous, do not have that mindset that “he/she only did it because you asked”. You’re setting your partner up for a Catch 22, and that’s stressful. In a loving relationship, you grow and learn from each other. Help your partner learn about you so that later on, you won’t have to ask or wonder why so-and-so isn’t doing x,y,z. They’ll know you well enough to know what makes you smile and what makes you cry. If you encourage that mutual communication and understanding, you’ll be able to understand your partner just the same.

4. “I love you.”

It’s a pretty valuable term. I don’t know if it’s a human thing or an American thing, but I’ve been taught that because it’s such a beautiful phrase, it shouldn’t be used too often. While I believe this is true, I believe that the opposite is just as true. Beauty isn’t as rare as we make it out to be. If you step outside and look around you, beauty is everywhere - just look closely and embrace it. Similarly, love is around us too.

Love is beautiful, and when you truly feel it, you shouldn’t be afraid to say it. I think it’s important to examine it closely and embrace it. Granted, you shouldn’t say it to anyone left and right, but when you’ve found that person who you love so much, it doesn’t hurt to let that person know and to remind that person each day. It’s not something that should only be said on special occasions. As long as you mean it every time you say it, it will never get boring or lose its meaning.

It takes a while to get to this point, but it shouldn’t take forever. The most important thing in a genuine relationship is to never hold yourself back from falling in love. It’s only the fear of vulnerability and hurt that makes love seem scary. If you can never learn to let that go, you won’t really get hurt, but you won’t really feel those butterflies in your stomach either. Your highs will only go up as far as your lows go down.

—————————-

I’m grateful for the relationship I have right now, and I can’t wait to spend more time with my handsome boyfriend.

My feelings always develop quicker and deeper than the other party. It’s not a big deal, but...

Thu, 10 May 2012 13:40:24 -0700

My feelings always develop quicker and deeper than the other party. It’s not a big deal, but it kinda sucks. I have to slow my feelings and desires down.

Falling in Love the Second Time

Thu, 10 May 2012 13:01:21 -0700

AUG. 16, 2011

By RYAN O’CONNELL

The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to feel so relieved. When you get your heart broken for the first time, you can’t imagine loving someone else again or having someone else love you. You worry about your ex finding love before you do, you worry about being damaged goods. And then it happens. Someone else loves you and you can sleep well at night.

The second time you fall in love with someone, it’s going to feel different. The first time felt like a dream almost. You were untouched, untainted by anyone. You accepted love with wide open arms and desperation. “Love me, love me, love me!” So you did. And then it fell apart and left you shocked to the core. You realized that people could be cruel and break your heart. You realized that people could stop meaning the sweet things they said to you just yesterday. So when you go into it again, you’re going to keep in mind everything that you’ve learned. You’re going to say, “Love me, love me, love me…until you don’t. In which case, I would like some advance warning. Thanks!”

The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to compare it to your first love. That’s okay. That’s natural. You’re going to be studying the new love with judgement and wariness. “My ex never liked broccoli. Why the hell does this one eat so much broccoli?!” Discovering that you have the ability to love multiple people who are different and feel different is initially very jarring. Loving an unfamiliar body will leave you disoriented and in dire need of a map. That’s okay too. That’s to be expected. Just ask the new love for directions.

The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to suffer from a bout of amnesia. You’re going to poke and prod at your lover’s body and be like, “Wait, how do I do this again? How do I love you? I think it starts with us having a moment together in some coffee shop, right?” It’s going to feel scary at first. Falling in love is sort of like riding a bike though. You never really forget.

The second time you fall in love with someone, you’ll be a more sane person. Your first love is when you get all of your insanity out. You behave like an insane monster because your mind is freaking out about all these new powerful feelings. By the second time, however, you have an idea of what works and what doesn’t. It’s by no means perfect. The insanity will make a cameo at some point. “Peek a boo. I’m here! Hope you didn’t forget about me!” But you can usually shoo it away after awhile.

The second time you fall in love with someone, you will hopefully have better sex. Do not quote me on this.

The second time you fall in love with someone will still be exciting and you might even talk about moving in together or marriage. It will feel more “adult.” You have no idea what adult love actually is but you think it involves making coffee for each other in the morning and maybe even getting a dog. “This is my dog, Xan. I got him with the second person I fell in love with because that’s what you do! The first person I was in love with would’ve killed a dog.”

The second time will not be the first time. The first time is an insane magical life gift that you can never reclaim. But that’s okay. The second time is more real anyway. The second time can involve some amazing love.

$40 FC - Grocery Shopping Part 1

Wed, 09 May 2012 21:01:18 -0700

Day 1 began on Monday, May 7. In the morning, we flew from San Francisco to Irvine, rushed to work, and ate a whole lot of nothing for lunch. I was able to get by with the freebie peanuts from work. I don’t think Kevin was as fortunate.

After work, we met up and began our shopping challenge at Albertsons. Instead of spending all $40 for the week that day, we spent $20 to last us until this Thursday. As soon as we walked in with our basket, we headed straight for the proteins.

The cheapest and healthiest meat to buy is chicken, so we focused on that. At Albertson’s, chicken isn’t too expensive and it’s a lot fresher than Ranch 99 (or 99 Ranch if you’re a SoCal native). We thought about going to Costco, but it’s just not worth it between just the two of us (oops, I tend to digress).

Tangent thought: By the way, Ranch 99 is the direct translation of the store’s name. In Mandarin, it’s pronounced dà huá jíu jíu, which literally translates to Ranch Nine Nine.

We hit the jackpot at the “Buy 1 Get 1 Free” meats section. Prior to this challenge, I never thought about buying the meat here because they were too close to the “Sell By” date, but with the discount it was tempting. We grabbed two “Malibu Chicken” packages and two “Garlic Medley” packages. They’re good till May 10, which is this Thursday.

We headed over to the produce section, and damn - it’s a lot pricier at American grocery stores.

“Guess we’d better hit up the Asian markets for the greens,” I said. Kevin agreed.

We grabbed another protein source and headed out.

Our bill at Albertsons (with our Preferred Savings card): $14.04

We headed to H-Mart, a Korean grocery store near Kevin’s place to buy vegetables. Here’s a tip: buy meats at American places and buy vegetables at Asian places. Meats are always better quality at American grocery stores. Vegetables are cheaper at Asian markets, even though they’re of the same quality as American markets. At H-Mart, we bought green onions (scallions) and Nappa cabbage. At H-Mart, green onions were priced at 4 bunches for $0.99 and the cabbage was $0.20 per pound. If you wanna get seafood, go to Asian markets because there’s always more variety than the American markets and it’s cheaper!

Look at all the money we spent here! A buck-sixty.

We spent a total of $15.64 on groceries on Monday, May 7, 2012 to last us until Thursday, May 10, 2012.

“Honey, did you want to spend the leftover on fruits, or did you want to save it?”

“Let’s save it,” he replied.

We had a total of $24.36 to last us until the end of Sunday.

Mr. Fredrickson

Tue, 08 May 2012 14:54:14 -0700

Mr. Fredrickson

The $40 Eating Challenge

Tue, 08 May 2012 13:09:00 -0700

Yesterday, my boyfriend and I started a $40 Eating Challenge. Basically, we’re spending $40 a week on food for the next 2 weeks.

The Inspiration

Once upon a time, my Taiwanese dad was accepted into Howard University on a full-ride scholarship for electrical engineering. Soon after, he married my mom, got his student visa, and came to the beautiful U.S. of A. My mom’s visa took some time, but she finally met up with my dad in America three months later. I was chillin’ in her womb at the time.

While pursuing his Master’s Degree, my dad didn’t have the time or English fluency to find a legit job. So he delivered pizzas. My mom babysat kids here and there, but she couldn’t do much for too long. You can imagine the amount of money they had to spend (it was pretty close to nothing). Yet, they somehow seemed to manage - even with my mom’s late night cravings of stinky tofu. In fact, they got by on $20 a week. My parents continued eating on this budget even after I was born.

My dad has told me this story countless times, but I never appreciated it until I was in college. I appreciate it more now that I’m out of college. Besides what my dad has told me, it’s also been said that people should try to live on a limited budget so that in case of emergencies, they already know how to adjust.

I recently told my boyfriend, Kevin, my parents’ story. We decided to challenge ourselves to do what my parents did two decades ago. After taking inflation into consideration, we found that $20 in 1988 is now $38.79. We rounded it up to $40, which will provide for the two of us per week.

Conditions

1 Freebie Meal - This ensures that we don’t completely destroy our social life during these next two weeks.
Utilize Resources - We obviously can’t ignore the resources that we have. We’re utilizing our freebies at work and the leftover foods and ingredients we have because realistically, people don’t just throw everything out and start all over every week.

Goals

Not go over the budget (duh).
Eat as healthily as possible with what we have.
Not to go hungry.
Post our foodings until our challenge is done.

Additional Info

We’re eating on this budget in Irvine, California, which is located in sunny, Southern California. It’s not cheap to live or eat healthy here, but if we can do it, you can too!

Let the Hunger Games begin!

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Sat, 05 May 2012 09:34:13 -0700

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

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Thu, 03 May 2012 10:37:00 -0700

wollaemail: Repost so we can raffle these tickets away!!

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 17:38:18 -0700

wollaemail:

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Wed, 18 Apr 2012 19:17:00 -0700

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I’m in charge of this contest. Reblog and spread the word!...

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 11:44:58 -0700

I’m in charge of this contest. Reblog and spread the word! :)

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Sun, 15 Apr 2012 15:46:00 -0700

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Fri, 06 Apr 2012 14:13:17 -0700

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Fri, 06 Apr 2012 14:12:57 -0700

georgianadesign: Renovated classic Barcelona apartment by...

Fri, 06 Apr 2012 14:12:20 -0700

georgianadesign:

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Thu, 05 Apr 2012 09:54:10 -0700

andyhoster:

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